The Body Talks & Magic Begins

SO I woke up this morning with my head swirling (again).  I haven’t been sleeping much lately.  You know that time leading up to when your period is due .. .  it’s always an interesting part of the monthly cycle isn’t it.  It seems that the emotions we think we have dealt with from the rest of the month, all rise to the surface to be processed just before our period.  Is this just me or do you find that too?  These emotions can include anger, frustration, confusion, disappointment etc etc.  Can someone please tell our bodies that night time is for sleeping and we’d rather these thoughts and emotions come to us during our waking hours?!!

I tend to drift off to sleep perfectly fine as I have a great little bedtime routine happening now.  I get my youngest two into bed, after much drama relating to who showered first last night and who hasn’t picked up their clothes/dried the bathroom floor.  By the time, they’ve sung in the bathroom mirror with their toothbrush as their microphone and chased each other around the house, I’m usually exhausted.  I tuck them into bed, kiss them and say goodnight while appreciating how beautiful they are and how blessed I am to have them.  Then, I visit my eldest girls’ bedrooms and see how they are and say goodnight to them.

I change into my jarmies, brush my teeth, clean my face and do afew stretches & some deep breathing.  Then I climb into bed and let out a huge sigh.  I browse Pinterest for some new quotes, say some affirmations and listen to alittle music.  After that, I put my earplugs in and enjoy a meditation on love and abundance or something similar.  Before I know it, blissful sleep finds me.

But, lo and behold at some odd hour in the middle of the night, I’m wide awake, laying there with my eyes wide open.  Sometimes I get up and make a cup of chamomile and that usually works, if I’m not pre-menstrual.  But on these horrid nights just before my period, my body just won’t shut down.

There’s been a fair bit going on in our family lately and that’s certainly playing havoc on my mind.  My sister has bipolar and is manic for the first time in 11 years.  She’s been in hospital for a good few weeks now and has pushed us (her family – Mum, my sister and I) away.  Because her mind is muddled at the moment, it’s telling her that we don’t care, that because we haven’t been to visit, we are selfish and can’t be bothered visiting.  Never mind the fact that I have four children I’m solely responsible for, each with issues of their own, or that the cooking, cleaning and running around after them is rather a huge job and in order to do it well, I must prioritise my health.

Anyway, sometimes when I wake, I’m thinking of her and all I can do is send her love and say a prayer for her.  I really hope she gets better very soon.  I miss her and feel so much for her.

That’s just one thing from our family and there’s abit of other stuff but I don’t want to bore you with that.

About five weeks ago I thought I’d put my back out.  I was in so much pain.  The following day a rash appeared on my right butt cheek and then the constant aching began, along with stabbing pains and also stinging, as if I’d been burned.  I went to the doctor and it turned out that I had shingles.  Ouch!  The pain really was indescribable and it’s been many years since I’ve felt such sensations.

Luckily I got to the doc within 72 hours so was able to start anti-virals straight away to try and kick that dirty virus out of my body.  I also began taking painkillers – all of this totally against who I am, having weaned myself off antidepressants after 11 and a half years, and only taking supplements and eating healthily every day.

I didn’t have a choice though as I needed a break from the pain.  Like all situations in life, there’s something positive to come from it so I found myself searching for whatever positive stuff I could find and believe it or not I did find some.

I realised that my body was talking to me as there were messages it had been trying to send me that I had not been ready to receive.

Despite my constant vigilance with my health and wellbeing, daily exercise and meditation, eating well etc, there had been little relaxation in my life for some time and I was so determined to make my business work and earn money from some other work that I had been investing loads of energy into, that I was actually becoming unwell without realising it.

I prided myself on the fact that I was capable of ‘doing’ so much more in a day than most people could dream of doing, whilst keeping myself so well (or so I thought).

The investment of my energy was not returning the money I expected it would/should and still I persevered.

Having shingles ‘made’ me slow down.  Yes I still have four children to look after and a business to run/work on and myself to keep well but I can do it in a different way, that nurtures my true self at the same time.

Afew days before getting shingles, I had been attuned to reiki… something I had thought of doing for a long time.  Finally, I was ready for it.  Seemingly magically, a client kindy donated a brand new massage table to me.  Her and her husband had had it sitting in their shed! Perfect.

It was only when I was finally beginning to have less pain from shingles that I read in my reiki handbook that there is usually a 21 day cleansing period after being attuned! OMG, that was it!  It was clear to me now.  That quiet voice that had been nudging me to do reiki, that quiet voice that had been urging me to stop the work I was doing that wasn’t bringing the cash I thought it would.  All of it made sense.

There was a bigger reason for me developing shingles … my body was cleansing itself/me in order to be a clearer channel for the reiki energy.

Whilst this is clear to me now and the reiki energy is certainly stronger already (feeling like heart-beats in my hands), I can tell you it’s not fun.

When you’ve been on medication for so long, that has suppressed a lot of your emotions and memories and it’s been a year and you’ve already learned to ‘process’ a lot, the process of reiki attunement and cleansing is pretty full-on.  Well, it has been for me anyhow.

So, I enjoy the quiet as my weight loss clients have dropped right down, for now.  Once again, I am being ‘urged’ to do something so here I am writing to you.

When I sat down at my laptop to start writing, I had no idea what I would write, nor what my title would be but I knew there were words to come and that I had to listen to that quiet voice once again.

I’m sure there will be many more words and this is just the very start.  I hope you enjoy my blabbering and look forward to writing many more posts, whatever they will be.  Have a wonderful day on this beautiful earth. Xoxo Mel

Passion all around

Well it’s been a wee while since I’ve written anything here.  Of course my kids just went back to school last week so we were busy enjoying the holidays.  Many days of sleep-ins (especially for my older daughters ….do I really have to get up Mum?  It’s only 1.30pm?!!!), swimming, shopping, pottering etc etc.  Just lovely.

I never really want them to go back to school when the time comes as I’m conscious of how fast time goes and how they are all growing up so fast.  They still need their mum of course but I’m finding many times now where they are all occupied with their own stuff and I’m tossing up whether to do more dishes or hit my colouring in! haha.

So, a couple of weeks ago I pulled out a wonderful book that I was given my a dear friend.  It’s actually a set of two books that go together and it’s called The Artist’s Way.  It’s about unblocking our creativity and really is very special.  Like anything in life that we know is good for us and we do regularly, sometimes it gets put to the side while life takes place and so here I am, having let it resurface and I tell ya, it seems to be working.

I’m colouring in just like when I was a child, rearranging the house and my wardrobe and writing again.  Sure I’m writing lots of nothing much alot of the time but the main thing is that I’m doing it so I’m sure that sooner or later something profound will free itself from my ever-busy mind and all will be well hehe.

My business is going well.  It’s been afew months now and it has been amazing to see the changes that have occurred in several people.  Infact it brings tears to my eyes sometimes and gives me goosebumps.  How blessed am I to be part of something that can help others to change their health for the better!

I’m about to launch a wellness hub for our local area too and have several businesses interested.  I think it is so important for us to be connected to like minded people and if we can work together to help each other to help others, even better!

Sometimes it’s hard in my situation.  When in a state of pity (which I seldom wander to and certainly don’t allow myself to stay in), I remind myself that I am a single mum of four, battling depression and anxiety with hearing loss and rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers which are starting to swell and hurt.

Now it would be tempting to stay in a place of self pity and be consumed with it and of fear of the future but that would surely be a yucky place to be and certainly wouldn’t help anyone else and certainly not myself or my children.

And so I rise up and conquer another day, setting my intentions every morning, breathing deeply and reminding myself to keep doing those things that help.

I’m thankful that for me, there are many things that I find helpful and here are some of them:

-regular cups of chamomile help to soothe my nerves and let me get to sleep at night, breathing deeply, going for a walk, staying off the internet for extended lengths of time, having a bath, getting a massage, colouring-in, reading, writing, getting my hands stuck into the dirt in the garden, playing piano, watching a movie with my kids, getting out of the house, having a rest, doing some yoga stretches, eating the Dietflex way every day (my business! :)), going to gym and hitting the treadmill, followed by weight, ……..

Yes there more and I’ll talk about all of these things in the future.  Just wanted to get some of them down for you.

This morning I went to gym and launched myself back into the main weights room.  Now I’ve been a gym junkie for 26 years and always loved doing weights.  I’ve tried all the classes too and they’ve each had a place in my life and a time where I’ve loved them.  But lately, I’ve been focusing on building my business and so I’ve been walking, stretching, dancing and doing yoga.  I feel really healthy and I’m starting to treat myself to afew new clothes here and there as most of my old clothes are too big for me.  Infact, if I’m honest, I don’t remember having every been this small ever!!!  That’s because of Dietflex and it’s very cool.  But the thing is, as I’ve trimmed down and haven’t been doing my weights, I’ve lost muscle.

So it’s 1 Feb and I’m back in there, black weight gloves on, pumping songs on my iphone, lifting weights again, loving it and feeling how much a part of me it is and wondering what the heck I’ve been thinking by not sticking with my weights as I always have.  hehe.  Needless to say that the little voice inside my head that makes me push myself is back in the weights department so I’m really looking forward to being sore (not!!! but hey no pain no gain:)) and changing my body once again so that it’s strong as well as lean.

I think I’ve rambled enough for today.  Time to get back to some real work and build this business up me things.

Do what you love! One life to live ay:),

Mel

The calm before the storm

So here I find myself freed.  I am freed (is that even a word?) from the chair in the office, where, although I learnt so much, my legs would become restless, my body yearning to be out in the fresh air, doing as I pleased.

Here I am now, a weight and wellness coach.  Thrown into a new dimension without a manual.  My years of passion for health and wellness finally coming to fruition.  My dreams of helping others improve their lives and inspiring them to be amazing and feel far better than they do, about to come true.  My dreams of writing as part of my job, is actually happening.

I pick lavender by day and as I dry it and stuff it into red and black chiffon bags, ready to sell, I ponder and I wait patiently for the next step of my journey, busying myself with whatever comes to mind as I wait.

Athough I am placid by nature and a bit of an introvert (most of the time), patience is not always my strong point, especially when it come to something I want very much.  But I have learnt that everything happens in the right time and once the intention has been released to the universe, it will come if you keep believing.

I am holding a couple of information sessions for my business and awaiting the artwork for the posters.  I want to print them and stick them around town and I want to do it as soon as possible to give the most people I can the opportunity of coming along.

As with everything, working for yourself and from home, has its advantages and disadvantages.  I can pick when I want to work and how I want to work and I can even, to a certain extent, choose where I want to work, being there for my children if I work within school hours.  This is wonderful and very important to me.

I need to be self disciplined, which I am so that’s not a problem but sometimes the mess around me, which stems from four children, one cat and one dog living their lives as they do, is hard to ignore.  I want to get stuck in and make my house immaculate, like my mum’s is these days however I’m not motivated to do this.  My focus is on my business and what I can do next to make it happen.  For now, our house is liveable, we are happy and healthy and we have all we need.  I will hire a cleaner once the business is in full swing.  I confess that I am multi-talented and can multi-task as required but domestic goddess I am not, haha each to his/her own.

Time to pick up the kiddliwinks now.  I will write more tomorrow.  Bye for now,

Mel

I

Hello world!

Hi everyone.  I started this blog because I have always loved writing and for quite afew years now, have felt that I had a book waiting to burst out of me.  But, as I believe is common with us writers, life kept happening and try as I might, it just hasn’t happened yet.

Recently, I have had quite a curveball thrown at me.  Last December, I was fortunate enough to score a part-time job .. my first actual ‘proper’, paid job in 13 years, at which time I had gone on maternity leave and not returned to work.

As you can imagine, returning to work after being a stay at home mum all those years took quite abit of adjustment.  The hours were perfect, 10am – 2.00pm so it meant I could drop my kids at school, duck into Woolies if I needed to, drive to work (20 mins), finish at 2.00pm and off I would go on the school run again.

What it meat though, was that my alarm went off at 6.00am, I would get up at 6.15am, shower and dress up for work, have my breakfast, feed my four kids, make four lunches, drive to two schools, sometimes doing three or four trips if it was one of the three mornings a week one of my daughters had to be there early for choir, dancing etc.  Some mornings I had no choice but to do this as my two youngest kids just could not get ready that early!

We would all arrive home from school around 3.45pm and I would immediately start washing dishes, hanging washing, making dinner etc.  After that, there was help with homework for my two youngest and finally getting to my bedroom aroud 8.30-9.00pm every night, having about an hour to read and go through school paperwork, bills etc before getting to sleep so that I could do it all over again the next day.

My new job wasn’t my dream job, that’s for sure but it was ok and in my favourite industry (health and fitness), working in a small office with nice people.

I was employed casually which meant that if I didn’t work, I didn’t get paid.  Having bills to pay and debts to pay off, I worked my butt off for months on end, only taking afew days off during one lot of the school holidays.  I felt that if I put my heart and soul into it, my efforts would be recognised and I would surely be made permanent.

I told my kids this when they expressed their disappointment at not being able to attend their performances in assembly and I told my Mum this when she told me she missed me because it had been ages since she saw me.  I missed my friends and my family as there was no time for me to call anyone and all I was capable of thinking about and planning was everything I had to do and remember in each day.

Reading was a non-occurrence throughout those months, except for the weekend paper and I missed my books.  I hung the washing on the clotheshorse in the garage every night so I missed the sunshine and my garden.  I could see through the window that my lavender was now in full bloom and I dreamt of picking it.

For the first time in over 20 years, (aside from two years of sickness), I couldn’t make it to my beloved gym, except for once a week.  I could feel my thighs rubbing together alittle and turning all wobbly and my fitness was now zilch.

All of this sounds very negative but, I truly believe that there is a upside to everything and it is up to us to find it and focus on it and that’s what I did.

Working with very intelligent, well read and well accomplished people, I was constantly surrounded with knowledge, and although I wear hearing aids as I have 55-60% hearing loss in the middle range, in both ears, it is amazing what I can hear, especially when I am interested.  Having always had a thirst for learning, my ears were opening wide!

So I listened and I learned and I worked and I taught my kids adaptability and resilience and perseverance I believe.

My boss could see my abilities after awhile and my dedication, and I guess my hunger for knowledge.  He allowed me to use my initiative and eventually asked for my opinion on the odd occasion which I enjoyed.  It felt great to finally be using my brain in a way that stimulated me.

I employed some strategies that I had come up with and they started to work.  It was exciting and I couldn’t wait to see where it would all lead.

And then it came, the moment I least expected…. I lost my job and had four weeks’ notice.

My first reaction was to cry.  How would I feed my kids?  Last year, there was a time where I couldn’t pay the bills and was incredibly grateful to receive a massive hamper full of food and presents for my kids from a charity.

For half a day I felt self pity, and then I told myself it wasn’t helpful.  I had to find a way to see the opportunity in this experience and believe it was taking me exactly where I needed to go and that I was, infact already right where I was supposed to be at that moment.

This is just the start of my story.  At 41, with a life full of unwritten, unopened chapters inside of me, there is much to tell and much to teach and even just to express.  My wish is to inspire you, not necessarily to be a better person, although that certainly may be the case, but to be you, the you that you really are.

Thank you for listening and I look forward to writing so much more:)